Friday, May 18, 2007

My Life According to Maury

Last night I was on the phone with one of the guys who proposed marriage to me in March. I had described him once to a friend (who happened to be the second man to propose to me in March, go figure) as the kind of guy who, if called onto a paternity test episode of the Maury Povich show to determine whether he was the father of his girlfriend's child, would agree to raise the kid regardless of the results. "Wow," said second proposer, "he's a great guy. You should marry him."

"Well," I said, "he is, but it could also be that he's really apathetic and never wants the status quo to change. So, if he's already with some woman, he's not going to break up with her just because she's sleeping around. It would mess with the living arrangement."

Back to last night's phone conversation with first proposer. He was telling me about some training he's going through with his job and he said, "Isn't this fascinating? I think you should write about it in your blog." I said I didn't think the topic was quite interesting enough -- certainly not as interesting as the type of outfit I choose to wear to a second interview. He said he was sure he could say something interesting enough to merit entry in my blog. For example, what about that marriage proposal? Wouldn't that have been a good story to post, had I been blogging in March?

So I decided to ask him about the Maury Povich scenario: "If I married you and got knocked up by another guy, would you raise the kid?"

"Yeah, probably," he said.

"With me, or by yourself?"

"Well, I think the idea is that I would continue living with you."

"And would it be because you didn't care that I was sleeping with other people, or because you're a great guy?"

"A little bit of both, I think. I'm a middle child, so I'm naturally helpful. And I'm not in love with you, so I wouldn't feel threatened if you fell in love with someone else or had a fling as long as we stayed living together. But I would hope that, if I were helping you to raise this kid, you would have sex with me every now and then. You know, a fair trade of benefits."

"And is this something you would do just for me, because I'm a stellar person to live with, or would you do it for any woman?"

"Oh," he said, "any woman."

So there you have it. I know him so well.

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